WRDM11 part two

How about this new font? Isn't it just divine?

Welcome to this week's weekly installment of the Weekly Review of Dance Music. This week in this week's post I'll be carrying on the bang-on predictions for 2012. In part one I successfully anticipated the rise and rise of Minimal Hard House. As the figurehead of this movement I'll be following up the Minimal Hard House staple, Ecstasy World (Where I Wanna Be) with its response track Just Poppin' (Dropped 4 On The Floor).

I've laid down the beats for that wax already. I'm just working on creating an atmosphere around them. Know what I mean? The bass line is both bouncy AND melancholic. The hi-hats are both sparse AND frenetic. And the vocal is gonna take your brain to another dimension. Seriously, lads, I haven't even half finished it yet and its a classic.

If anyone else who reads this blog can both read AND produce music I urge you to get involved. How? By reading this blog first and then stepping into the lab/bedroom to jump on the Minimal Hard House bandwagon (that I'm the driver of). Send me your 'Minimal Hard House' tagged Soundcloud links and I'll showcase the best ones on WRDM.

Remember, NOTHING under 136bpm works.



My prediction for recreational activities is this: People are going to slooooooooooow dooooooooooown.

Back in the day I was the hardest of the hardcore. Now that I'm a husband/dad I can't drink 900 pints in one session like I used to. I can't smoke spliff fags with the lit end on my tongue any more (my mates used to call me 'Opposite Smoker'! It was a play on the name 'Optimus Prime'). I can't even quad-drop Ecstasy E tablets on my lunch hour without getting that mid-afternoon slump. Honestly, last time I necked four at work I fell asleep at my desk! It was fucking embarrassing. These days the only place I can do hard drugs like a man is on the famous Fabric room 1 dance floor and down the boozer with my Auntie Louise.

No, 2012 is the year to take stock, relax, build your body muscles and mind matter up in preparation for 2013 - The Damaging. That's when Tonka comes out of hibernation and gets back into the 3 Ms: magic mushrooms, meow meow and MDMA (Mad Drugs Made Amazingly - LOL ;-) ).

So, with that in mind, DJs in the year 2012 will cater for people like me and only play Minimal Hard House or Industrial Ambient. 100% guaranteed.

What clubs are we dancing around in then, eh? Well, in the year 2012 I strongly predict that Club Fabric in London will go from strength to strength. The Weekly Review of Dance Music has championed this nightclub since it's opening opened in 2004 and WRDM will CONTINUE to support Club Fabric and Friday night's Fabric Clive throughout the year 2012. That's a WRDM promise, guys!

Club Fabric is in London and is the same equivalent of Berlin Nightclub in Berghain, the East German 24 hour dance hole, except for the fact that Club Fabric is only open for 14 out of the existing 24 in a day on Saturday nights with 12 being taken on Friday's night for Fabric Clive. My wish is for Club Fabric to operate all year round in 2012, and its my New Year resolution to attend as many Saturday nights there as I have hot dinners. I'll be blogging my progress HERE on the Weekly Review of Dance Music!


I have touched topless DJs previously. I mean I have touched on the subject of topless DJs previously. Is it sexist or just prudent of me to suggest that nightclubs would get a lot more punters through the door in 2012 if they insisted that prospective female DJs play topless? If female DJs want a fair crack at the whip when it comes to 'playing out' then they have to 'play the game'. If I were the promoter of say, Club Fabric or Live at Robert Johnson in Frankfurt, I would be like "if you wanna play out, love, you better play the game. Come on. Off."

I've said before that the set up at Club Fabric is all geared up for this kind of leap forward. Put the DJ on the stage and have caged podium dancers where the current DJ box is. Easy.

Topless DJs is not so much a prediction, but a mere suggestion to promoters on how to make more money. Take it or leave it, guys. No skin off my face.

Q. Which female DJs would YOU like to see play topless?

Answer in the comments section below, email me on tonkawrdm@gmail.com or Tweeter me on this number here: @tonkawrdm

That's my prediction round up for the year 2012 completed. Hope you found it informative and NOT long-winded.

I'll be back with WRDM12 next week and I'm still composing questions for two DJs I have lined up. Watch this space. I tried to get an interview with Soul Clap but their management company told me that I don't get enough internet hits. Who said Rock N Roll was dead?