Last weekend I drove topless down the Route 69 freeway in my big, black automobile and parked up sideways outside my favourite lesbian inn, The Alezby Inn. I checked in, watched a few mucky films in my room with a couple of dirties and shared my massive bottle of champagne with them as Ragdoll chopped up our gear. He left and I waited for the phone to ring whilst watching the COLD SHIT ACTION that was taking place between these two bi-sexual lesbians in front of me. Charlie chalk all round my snout and a debonair wave of my hand for them to continue rimming.
It (my phone) never did (ring).
BUT the door got knocked and I opened it. In strode the Egyptian Lover looking suave, with an enormous ghetto blaster on his shoulder. He whispered in my ear that he was looking for some "rumpy pumpy". After we got freaky with the bi-lesbians to a soundtrack of his own productions, we settled down for a Q&A.
So, what is a DJ if he can't scratch? We'll never know because I forgot to ask him. Here is a transcript of what I did (ask him).
Q) For anyone unfamiliar with the Egyptian Lover, could you tell them who you are, what you do and why you do it?
A) I am a DJ who started in 1979 in Los Angeles. I joined a huge dance production team called Uncle Jamm's Army and gained instant success. My turntable skills were unmatched from all the other DJs and I soon became L.A.'s best DJ. I started playing for the radio station and my name grew even more. I then knew it was time to start making records. So Uncle Jamm's Army and I made Dial a Freak and Yes Yes Yes in 1984. Soon after that I recorded Egypt Egypt and that record blew up! It's still being played today all around the world and my best selling song on iTunes.
Q) Was establishing yourself in the music industry an uphill struggle or, because you're dead good at music, an Egyptian walk in the park (LOLROFLOFL)?
A) It was very easy because I had L.A.'s biggest radio station (1580 K-DAY) behind me and my music was really good. My songs were instant hits.
Q) Clap or snare?
A) What is a beat without a live clap? I use both.
Q) Is it true that a boozy night out on the pull, in Miami, with King Tut and Rudolph Valentino inspired your name?
A) King Tut and Rudolph Valentino did inspire my name. But not on a boozy night in Miami, I'm from Los Angeles. I created that name when I was just 15 years old. So no, not on a boozy night.
Q) Do you find it hard to separate the person you are, Greg Broussard, and the Egyptian Lover? Or are you comfortable leading a personal double-life?
A) I am both at the same time, but more Egyptian Lover on stage and in the studio when recording my songs.
Q) I tried sexohol once and my willy ballooned up. Do you still abuse sexohol and, as an extension to that, are you still addicted to freaks?
A) I AM a freak! The women are addicted to me.
Q) How do the Uncle Jamm's Army parties compare to the kind of parties you play at now?
A) There will never be another time like when I was with Uncle Jamm's Army. Today's parties are fun but just not the same. Every party has its own moments and are all in my memory.
Q) Planet E, the album King of Ecstasy and Get High, Get X'd, Get Drunk, Get Sex'd all lead me to think that ecstasy (the drug) played a part in your musical output/thinking before, during and after your Filthy album? Is that right or were you reacting artistically to an emerging scene?
A) I happened before the drug was called ecstasy. When I say I am the King of Ecstasy, I meant the emotion of heated passion not the drug. People just took it as I was talking about the drug. The only song about the drug is Get High, Get X'd, Get Drunk, Get Sex'd which I made for my Louisiana Club Scene Party People. I never used that drug or any drugs for that matter. Just tried marijuana in high school. I'm on a natural high with life being The Egyptian Lover.
Q) Have you ever been near a 909?
Q) Has your attitude to sex changed much with age?
A) I am a very sexual person and I think that I will always be.
Q) Slow and circular insertions or fast and hard, piston-like thrusts?
A) Romantically slow and soft and mind blowing. Foreplay is the key! Learn how to please your girl.
Q) If there was a gun to your head and you HAD to, which dead Egyptian bird would you choose to rattle: the mummified remains of Cleopatra or Nefertiti?
Q) What was your reaction when you started seeing Dre and Yella in videos toting A-Ks, showing absolutely NO respect for the five-o and looking like they wanted blood?
A) No reaction, I'm from L.A. It's like that!!! And that's the way it is!!!
Q) I've been telling people for years that you were bragging in rap music before anyone else; before Biggie, Jay-Z, Puff Daddy and Q-Tip. Would you agree or was there someone else before you who talked about mansions, maids, dough and wheels over beats that boom?
Q) Stone cold sober or absolutely fucking terminated?
A) Sober (I can handle my liquor when I drink).
Q) European DJs and producers have always been a big supporter of you and your music; I've been a fan ever since Andrew Weatherall did his Fabric CD in 2004. He kicked it off with two of your tracks and then swerved off the road and took the mix down Techno Town. Is there anyone over here you're listening to or getting exciting by these days?
A) Too many to list. I love all D.J.'s and every single one of them has their own style and I like that. Shout out to the D.J. "Keep doing your thing."
Q) Do you have any advice for any young readers of this who are eager to break into dance music?
A) Make the music you love and do it any way you can. Whether it be on a laptop, smartphone, pro studio, demo studio, home studio, home computer, whatever??? Just make music. The world wants to hear you!
Q) I read that you have SIX 808s. Could I buy one of them from you at a knock-down price and collect when you're in London on Saturday 4 May for a warehouse party in east London? (Buy tickets here: Egyptian Lover at an east London warehouse )
A) Uhhhh...no! But you can buy my songs from iTunes and my new album next year entitled 1984. Also, my 30 year anniversary album coming soon, 1984-2014! 2014 will be a big year for me as it will be my 30th anniversary. Get ready to dance ~ Egyptian Lover...
What a lovely man. I'd like you all to join me in wishing the Egyptian Lover all the very best for the future and a hearty slap on the back for his sizeable achievements so far. Get yourself down east London on Saturday 4 May because he is the musical mammoth of electro and someone who is brilliant at entertaining the punters in clubs. If you can't understand his appeal or get down to the stuff he's been releasing over the years you're a fucking arsehole with a dick but not the balls to fuck, ya get me? I don't need to direct any of that to the ladies because ALL the women love the Egyptian Lover.
EGYPTIAN LOVER ON iTUNES: EL on iTunes
EGYPTIAN LOVER ON YOUTUBE: EL on YouTube
I'll be back next week with WRDM21 and soon enough you'll be hearing me and Draper on WRDMFM where he'll be helping me jump the shark completely. Who's with me?
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