WRDM20

This week's WRDM is a weekly review of a recent night out I had in London; last night's night out. This time yesterday I was all excited about going out for an all night dancing session in London's trendy east end of London, the famous "east end" that what EastEnders is based on, if you will.

Let me break it down for you one time 'cause (because) it went like 'dis (this).


Luke Skywater out of Star Wars One, II and 3 was always telling people to say "use the force", but when you're jogging down Brick Lane on a Friday night surrounded by arseholed tourists, bearded arseholes looking down their noses at you whilst STILL wearing over-sized glasses and red lumberjack shirts and half-arsed salesmen begging you to eat in their shop, all you can do is say "fuck off EVERYONE and leave me alone". So, that proves Luke Skywater was talking shit and he didn't know what he was talking about. Know what I mean?

Woah! Rewind that shit and start from the off.


My eyes stared down and across the city from my 7th floor Grange Tower Hill Hotel 5 star temporary 24 hour apartment whilst, at the same time, my ears listened to what Annie Mac had to say on the radio. The black Samsung flat-screen I demanded at reception cleverly had an inbuilt radio WITHIN the actual television making it possible to switch from The One Show to Radio 1 using the same remote control. With that thought, and with Annie Mac masturbating over Benga and Scream, I smiled a smile I usually smile in these occasions and smiled to myself before letting out a yawn.



I napped for 40 minutes, woke up to hear Heidi calling every single fucking track a "bomb", got showered, dressed and then met Draper outside Aldgate East. We were hungry and thirsty so we jogged towards the front of Brick Lane. After pretending we'd already eaten to about fourteen curry pimps we knocked on the door of Bangla Oven, walked in, sat down, ordered our food, ate it, paid up and left. After that we walked the length of Brick Lane and drank a pale ale in a pub that looked like a living room and downed a crocodile beer in a Swedish boozer that looked like the inside of a tiny Ikea, but with pictures of Bill Oddie on all the walls instead of whatever it is that Ikea have up.

Jeez, man! Get to the fucking point, dude!




"Tonka and Draper. We're on Angie's list"

"What's your name again?"

"Tonka and Draper. She emailed me this afternoon to confirm. Do you know Angie at Maouris?"

"Yeah, I'm a mate of her's but I don't have you down on Angie's list"

"She definitely emailed me today to confirm"

"Your name's not down. Can you pop in and see if Wil is around to come back here to say ok?"

"Yeah"

"Do you know who Wil is?"

"No"

"He's Angie's business partner. Look, here's a stamp, just go in and we'll sort it out later"

"Thanks"

We never did sort that embarrassing mess out but I did enjoy Graeme Park's 8 hour set at Basing House. When we walked through the door he was playing Carly Simon's Why. After buying ourselves a pint each, we hit the dance floor with our feet. Say No Go, The Adventures of Grandmaster Flash on the Wheels of Steel, Let's Groove and some acid tracks I'd never heard before were all highlights of a retrospective set that, with my pretensions tucked under a sofa with my coat, made me dance and dance and dance and dance until 2am in the morning.




I left Draper to it because he pulled an old bird in silver leggings who looked like a stretched Bez. She was there on her own, there was no fucker in there selling E and I was getting tired. There are only so many hits you can dance to sober. Typically, as I walked down Shoreditch High Street I was approched by a fella offering md and coke. I hit the floor with my fist, cursed my luck and continued my walk home to the hotel.


A Night With...Graeme Park at Basing House
9/10

I must also add that Harry Hill, I mean Graeme Park (ROFLOFL), wears a great pair of spectacles on his head and smiles a lot when he DJs. The smiling did not go un-noticed. DJ Tiga and Marcel Dettmann really need to take note! Winking smiley face.


I'll be back soon with a special German post, WRDM21 and MASSIVE QUESTIONS with someone in the (dance) music industry.

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