WRDMore Merchandise

My nan keeps telling me that Christmas comes earlier every year. She also says that Muslims bomb us because Elton John got married to a bloke. This year Christmas falls on the 25th December, just like every fucking year since the baby Jesus was born. Know what I mean?

That said, WRDM brings you NOW it's latest line in Christmas fashions, gift ideas and high-concept art. Put simply; Christmas gifts for modern people, or people who want to be modern, who have great taste, loads of money and an interest in the Weekly Review of Dance Music.
WRDMint Ecstasy E Tablets


Get fucked whilst not feeling like your teeth are going to fall out. Mouth rot is now a thing of the past thanks to the scientists at WRDM who have, once again, spotted an easy gap in the market, chopped some Polo mints in and filled it.

Mint Ecstasy comes in spearmint, mint, mint choc chip, Polo, peppermint and cool breeze. Girls will definitely want to get off with you if you've taken a few WRDMint Ecstasy E Tablets.

Mint Ecstasy

£5.00 per unit in the club
OFFER: £10.00 for three in the club

£3.00 per unit outside the club
OFFER: £10.00 for five outside the club

Mad Dog Deon Christmas Wrapping Paper



A man from Walsall with a skull tattooed all over his face will make for a fun, light-hearted start to Christmas morning. Wrap presents for loved ones, friends and colleagues with Mad Dog Deon Christmas Wrapping Paper from WRDMHQ. Watch your little boy's eyes brighten up when he starts tearing at the mush of a man who got told off on telly a few years ago for having a tattoo of a skull on his face and for mucking his missus around.

Deep down, cocka, underneath the rough packaging, he's alright. Just like the gifts that you unwrap at this holy time of the year.
Mad Dog Deon Christmas Wrapping Paper

£12.99 per roll
OFFER: £25.00 for two rolls

Tall Paul Bookmark


Sick to DEATH of ruining the pages of your book by folding the top corners in every time you have to prepare to get off the train/fall asleep? Preserve the appearance of your books by using a WRDM Tall Paul Bookmark.

Tall Paul is the United Kingdom's tallest professional DJ and is ideally suited to squeeze into and tower over novelty books like The Big Book of Football's Funniest Quotes. I can also say from personal experience that the WRDM Tall Paul Bookmark comfortably stands shoulder to shoulder with tomes such as Bill Brewster's How to DJ (Properly): The Art and Science of Playing Records, Ulysses by James Joyce and The Bible by Jesus.

Tall Paul Bookmark

£4.00 per bookmark

WRDM presents Danny Baker presents Boiler Room Bloopers


We all love Boiler Room and we all love football blooper videos. Don't we? Eh? We do, don't we? Eh? I've called in some MASSIVE favours and roped in the king of football blooper videos, Danny Baker, to present WRDM presents Danny Baker presents Boiler Room Bloopers.

They tell you it's streamed live, don't they? This specially commissioned DVD contains outakes, train-wrecks and the sight of a pissed-up reveller being sick in the background during the recent Ivan Smagghe/Andrew Weatherall love-in that you WOULDN'T have seen whilst watching it "streamed". Know what I mean? Danny Baker provides hilarious commentary.
WRDM presents Danny Baker presents Boiler Room Bloopers

£14.99

Postman Pat for WRDM by Jeff Koons


Postman Pat looks like it was designed by Jeff Koons. I've always thought that. So, I picked up the phone, rang a number and asked Jeff Koons to do a picture of Postman Pat for this edition of WRDMerchandise. He was only too happy to oblige as he is a big fan of my words. He scribbled the above on a piece of A4 paper and handed it over with his usual flourish.

I only have one of these so we'll have to go to auction.
Postman Pat for WRDM by Jeff Koons

Start the bidding at £48,000

I'm bored and tired now. I promise to be back next week with LOADS more stuff.

Check me out in other mediums though.

- Where, Tonka?

- HERE:
Ran$om Notetheransomnote.co.uk/tonkas-week (more to come)

Meokomeoko.net/news/a-visit-from-tonka (more to come)

Also:

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Email me: tonkawrdm@gmail.com