Name me a more on fleek producer and DJ than Perc in 2015...
...no, apart from Ricky V. Name me a more on fleek producer and DJ, NOT including Ricardo Villalobos, than Perc at the moment. You can't, can you?

Ok, not including Heartthrob too, and Ricardo Villalobos. Apart from them two, who is more on fleek than Perc? Don't say Nicolas Jaar either. After Ricky V, Heartthrob and Nicolas Jaar, who is more on fleek than Perc these days?

No, as I thought; you can't name anyone more on fleek than Perc.

Perc makes music so hard that even DJs like Lisa Lashes and Billy "Daniel" Bunter won't play his stuff. His last album, The Power And The Glory, scored an almost unbelievable nine out of ten when reviewed on the world famous Weekly Review of Dance Music last year DESPITE having Frank off of Hellraiser on the album cover! Remarkably, The Power And The Glory was the last release by Perc on his own record label, Perc Trax (why? I don't know), but let me tell you this, ladies and gentlemen, he's recently come back to dance with a new three-track EP called, Gob.

When I was a kid in Walsall, gob meant spit. In gangsta rap parlance, to spit means to rap. Disappointingly, Perc does not rap on either the A side, Gob, or the two B tracks, Gruel and Change To Win. However, what you do get for your £7.00 (£2.50 for the digital version) is three doses of bespoke Hertfordshire hint, full on grey-mounted tech-blaze, UK frown house and a nice bit of traditional curdled weld noise from a DJ/producer who, at the moment, is more on fleek than anyone else around at the moment (in dance music), including Surgeon, Ben Klock, Richie Hawtin, Seth Troxler, Bleaching Agent, The Martinez Brothers and Magda.

Gob is absolutely fucking brilliant, and if I didn't have a mate who robs record shops with his brother, I'd DEFINITELY buy a copy for myself. If not for the tunes, for the cover art which depicts Perc as a grown man who eats rice pudding like a toddler.

Gob by Perc


I went to Phonica Records last week to see a DVD and album launch by Mr. G.

LOLoutLOUD. That sounds like the start of one of my cracking anecdotes on Tonka's Week, doesn't it? Anyway, I went along to Phonica after drinking a couple of pints of 1664 in a pub called The Ship. I always need a couple of straighteners before events like this because people always come up to me and say, "oh, are you Tonka? Go on, say something controversial..." If I turn up sober to events that I've been invited to because of WRDM or Tonka's Week, it's properly fucking horrible. The whole of the dance music world is fucking horrible UNLESS you're an innocent punter getting trollied on the dance floor to Ricky V or Perc. For the rest of us, it's an endless grin. A never-ending, "do you know so and so?", "I'm a mate of such and such" and "yeah, I'll probably go to that". It's fucking exhausting telling lies and bigging yourself up for hours. Do you know how many people I tell about the time I shared a platform with Terry Farley? I name-drop being mates with Tim Sheridan more times than he name-drops his actual celebrity friends. I'm getting tired of the grind now though. In Phonica Records last week, I said, "Private Eye", so often that the words lost their meaning!

(This track isn't on Night On The Town? but it's one of his recent ones and I couldn't find any previews anywhere of anything off of his new album)

This weird fucking world I skirt around is why I came away thinking that the DVD Mr. G projected onto the screen looked like someone had just taken a video of an iTunes Visualiser on their smart phone, but I walked around afterwards telling people that I thought it was great.

I remember thinking that the music really was great, but I'd drank so much 1664, Red Stripe and some of Mr. G's rum punch (that was 100% rum, no punch) that if you asked me to describe any of it now I'd laugh in your face and say, "I can't, mate. Sorry."

Night On The Town? by Mr. G
Album: 7/10
DVD: 10/10 (for the fucking cheek of actually trying to sell it)

Pre-order: FROM HERE NOW

I've been promising Martyn Hare some MASSIVE QUESTIONS to answer for weeks now, and I've been shit at writing them. I've written half of them but I keep getting waylaid. I'll try my best to finish them this week. I reckon that when I eventually do send them over, Martyn Hare will probably tell me to fuck off because he's already moved on mentally from the EP he's currently plugging! Premonitions came out on Monday and I've already listened to the Soundcloud previews about nine times.

- Why, Tonka?

- Because it's fucking brilliant.

Premonitions is four tracks of banging English dance music (three by Martyn Hare and one remix from the nicest man in American dance, Paul Birken) and if all four of them aren't played in a row by Ancient Methods down Corsica Studios for Plex, Bleed and Them on Friday 6 November, I'll eat Jamiroquai's hat!

I especially enjoyed the only known use of jingle bells in a techno song on the opener, Zero Tolerance. Please get in touch if there are any other instances of a seasonal instrument being used in a track designed to help you get absolutely fucking terminated in a nightclub.

Premonitions by Martyn Hare


There you go. Mr. G wins this week's Weekly Review of Dance Music for the DVD of his new album, Night On The Town? with a ten out of ten (!) for being mad enough to pay an Australian film maker God knows how much to stick an iTunes Visualiser over the top of his music. You need the eccentrics in the world, don't you? Makes life more interesting for the rest of us.

I'll be back next week with either MASSIVE QUESTIONS with Martyn Hare or a fake review of United Festival. I've been invited, but I can't make it to Finsbury Park this weekend. It looks fucking ace though: Oxide & Neutrino, 808 State, The Ratpack, Kenny Ken, Det, Bassman and the best looking lady DJ in the world for the eighteenth season in a row, Lisa Pin-Up are all playing amongst many, many, many others! There's fucking loads of DJs on, like how the old raves used to be. Remember? How they fitted everyone onto the same A5 flyer in the late 80s is beyond me.

United Festival is on Sunday 13 September at Finsbury Park. Buy tickets here or just turn up and tell them your name's Tonka. Any trouble getting in, contact me on social media and I'll sort the door out for you. I'm the nicest man in dance and I care about my readers. YOU.

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